


89/101

by DocProfessor



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2021-01-15 03:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21246647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DocProfessor/pseuds/DocProfessor
Summary: Before Ratchet leaves to find Drift, Rodimus wants to clear the air.Set literally between panels of The Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye #40





	89/101

“Actually- Ratchet?” Rodimus stopped and stood in the doorway.

“What is it?” Ratchet hadn’t expected the captain to pause. He gave Rodimus a clean bill of health and some parting words about Drift. He figured the uncomfortable subject of his former right-hand man’s exile would send Rodimus fleeing back to the bridge to scan the galaxy for a distraction.

“I wanted to tell you something. Or ask you something. Or something you something.”

Ratchet glanced down at his tablet. He had patients to check on. He had parting words for others. Loose ends to follow up on. But if he was going to commit to his disappearing act, he had to jump on this chance for Rodimus to actually open up. He literally had no idea when the opportunity would come again. “By all means.”

What followed were several solid minutes of silence. Rodimus stood in the doorway, then stepped inside the medibay, then paced back and forth, then pivoted on his heels, then opened his mouth, then closed his mouth, then crossed his arms, then tilted his head sideways, then looked at his palm.

“Rodimus.”

“Alright alright alright!” He crammed three words into the space of three syllables. “Remember when I showed you that list? The list of people who wanted me removed as captain?”

“Oh.” Not the subject Ratchet had expected. In the months since they had taken off, Ratchet had assumed their conversation was a distant memory. He remembered Rodimus had sulked away in his quarters, only coming out when something directly involved him. But that was a while ago, and now he was back as an active co-captain. Always looking forward. Ratchet had assumed the issue was resolved in the typical Rodimus way: It was ignored until it stopped being relevant.

Still, he had to know for sure if Rodimus actually wanted to talk. He had seen it before, Rodimus on the verge of personal growth, then cowering away at the last second. It was easy to give him an out. He waved a dismissive hand. “Ah, that was so long ago. With everything that’s happened, it’s not really important-“

“No, no, it is. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. What you said, and what Optimus said.”

“Optimus?” That was news to Ratchet. Rodimus hadn’t told anyone that Optimus had an opinion on the matter.

“I told him what happened. About the vote. During that whole mess with, uh, Shockwave and the dead universe and everything. You know what he said to me?”

Ratchet’s silence said he didn’t.

“He said.” Rodimus’s arms crossed again. He leaned back against the wall, his eyes went to the floor. “Get this, he said I should’ve quit. I only invoked the Crisis Act because I knew I could win.”

“Ouch.” It was a genuine, sympathetic response, although Ratchet’s voice naturally made it sound sarcastic.

“Right? Optimus Prime.  _ The  _ Optimus Prime! ‘Freedom is the right of all sentient beings!’ ‘Never give up, no matter the cost!’” His Prime impression was Godawful, but Ratchet wasn’t going to say anything. “He told me to quit.”

“Well, that was…” Ratchet hunted for the right words. “You were in a hostile situation, none of you were thinking clearly. Don’t take it too personal.”

“Optimus Prime tells you something, to your face, good or bad, you take it personal.”

Ratchet couldn’t argue with that.

Rodimus continued, lifting himself from the wall to walk circles around the medibay. Very rarely did he make eye contact with Ratchet, like he was monologuing to an audience of one. “It just- Nothing has ever burned like that! I tried to tell him, you know, I wanted to stay to make amends but- He-“ Rodimus’s voice hitched. “He said it was nonsense. But is it? Is it really? I mean, I’m here, I’m trying to move forward, I- I want to be the best captain I can! I really care about this! I-“ He stopped. His shoulders sank.

Ratchet tried to keep his voice calm. He wasn’t known for his bedside manner. He was doing Rung’s job now. “Rodimus, it’s not like Prime’s the first person to tell you off. Hell, it’s practically Ultra Magnus’s job to tell you ‘No, don’t do that’. Why does this one stick with you?”

“Because he’s wrong! He’s right and he’s wrong at the same time! Yes, I knew I had the votes to stay on, but I didn’t- I didn’t invoke the Crisis Act because I knew I could win! I mean, I did, but I knew I could win, so I could make amends!” He finally turned to Ratchet, in full Rodimus-Mode. Every statement punctuated with a sweeping gesture of his arms. “Quitting is easy, Ratchet. Walking away, saying ‘I’m not fit to be captain anymore’, that’s the easy way out! It’s like- Sacrificing yourself to make up for your crimes! Redemption by dying. You’re just dodging the consequences.”

“And you didn’t tell that to him?”

Rodimus dragged a hand down his face. “I couldn’t get the words out. There wasn’t time. I was… embarrassed.” He trailed off, muttering, “Did give him a hell of a speech later when he was fighting Nova Prime…”

“One day, you’re gonna have to tell me exactly what you bunch were up to while you were gone…” Ratchet mused. “So why bring this up to me?”

Rodimus stood up straight. “You’re the only one I know who isn’t on my side. When I got the list of everyone who voted against me, I thought, ‘Good, now I know who to focus on’. I could’ve just kept them off the ship, but-“

“But that’s the easy way out.”

Rodimus snapped his fingers. “ _ Exactly. _ No, that’s not the right way to do things. I need to make it up to them. I’m gonna earn back their trust, one way or another. They voted to kick me out as captain, they didn’t vote to stop the quest. It obviously means something to them. I need to see it through. For their sake.”

“That’s… that’s noble of you.”

“I’m not doing this just so they’ll like me again.”

Ratchet’s eyes widened. “I-I didn’t say you were?”

Rodimus pointed at him, somewhat accusingly. “No, but you’re thinking it. But that’s fine, I don’t blame you for thinking it.”

Ratchet made a dismissive huffing sound, but he knew Rodimus had rightfully called him out. 

“I’m doing this because they deserve it. I knew I had the votes, but… Eighty-nine to a hundred-one? That’s close. That’s way closer than I thought it would be. The crew needs a captain they can rely on, but that doesn’t mean turning over the keys to someone else.”

“If it helps, I think if you ran the vote again, there’d be a lot more in your favor.”

Rodimus groaned, leaning his head back to whine up at the ceiling. “That’s not fair either! I didn’t earn that! The only reason for that is because  _ Megatron  _ is the alternative! I don’t want to win by being a better captain! I wanna win by being a better Rodimus!”

That caught Ratchet by surprise. A better Rodimus? He always assumed the captain thought he was at his best from the day his spark went online. “You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am. About this quest? Absolutely. About getting better? A hundred percent.” He sighed. “I just… I need your help. I want to know where you and I stand. Why’d you vote against me? What was it that made you lose faith in me? Was it Overlord or something else?”

He stayed silent for a long time, mentally rehearsing everything he wanted to say. When he spoke, it was slow and deliberate. He locked eyes with Rodimus and refused to look away. “Here’s what I got. You’re impulsive. You’re sloppy, arrogant, you disregard good advice because it’s too safe, and you’d rather die leaving behind a good story than survive and have no story. Your actions get good people hurt because you don’t stop to think. You’re easily provoked, easily distracted, and the worst part is you’ve heard all of this dozens of times from dozens of Autobots.”

Rodimus crossed his arms. “Buuuut?”

“No but.  _ And _ I know that, in your spark, you’re a good person. Hell, a great person. You care about the rest of us. You hate letting us down, not because it’s a hit to your ego, but because you want to inspire us to be greater. The ‘bots that died on your watch weigh on you. We can all see it. All of these things are true.” He stood up, stepped toward Rodimus, and put a hand on his shoulder. “It wasn’t Overlord himself that convinced me you weren’t fit to be captain. It was why you brought him on in the first place.”

Rodimus’s eyes went to the ground again. To Ratchet, he suddenly looked very vulnerable. Like his armor was liable to crumble at the softest touch. But still, there was no cushioning what he had to say. “I didn’t think you were fit to be captain because you get in your own way more than anyone else. You brought Overlord onto our ship, you put all of us in danger. That was bad enough, but you did it because you were  _ taunted _ into it. You fell for someone calling you a coward. Your stupid pride had you make the literal worst decision you could. I  _ know _ you want to be a hero. You want to stand shoulder to shoulder with Prime himself! But all the intent to be the greatest hero in Cyberton’s history doesn’t matter if you can’t control yourself. You need to learn how to rein yourself in. Or you need to get that impulsive nature to work  _ for _ you, instead of against you. Otherwise more of us are gonna get hurt.”

He could see the strain in Rodimus’s face as he tried to speak. The words came out scratchy, his voice cracking. “How do I do that, though?”

Ratchet removed his hand from the captain’s shoulder. “That’s not for me to tell you. You gotta figure that out on your own. But I think you can get there. I  _ believe  _ you can.”

“I just wish there was something I could do. If I could just… find a way to make it up to everyone all at once...”

Ratchet shook his head. “You aren’t gonna win people over with some big sweeping gesture. You know that. This is gonna take work, lots of it. And you might not change everyone’s minds.”

“Yeah. Of course.” Rodimus offered a weak grin. “Wishful thinking, that’s all. Thanks, Ratchet.”

“Anytime.”

With that, Rodimus headed for the door. Again, he stopped in the frame, looking over his shoulder. “Hey, Ratchet? If we voted again. Same crew as last time, and Megatron wasn’t here… You think it would still be 89 to 101?”

Ratchet sat back down, making a show of looking back at his tablet. “Votes are supposed to be anonymous.”

He didn’t look up, but he heard Rodimus talking to the back of his head. “Of course. I’ll uh… I’ll see you later.”

He disappeared down the hallway. Ratchet was about to call in his next patient when Rodimus’s head poked into the doorway again. “I’m not gonna let you down, Ratchet. I  _ swear _ it.”

Ratchet lifted his head. He gave Rodimus the slightest, subtlest smirk he could muster. “I know you won’t.” And then Rodimus was gone. For real this time.

With that, Ratchet was free to see his other patients. And with _that_ out of the way, he was free to sneak off the ship. He had his own wrong to right, and in a way, doing so might make Rodimus’s job easier.

The Lost Light was a speck in the rear cameras of his ship, and he watched as it blinked out of sight. Already, homesickness made his servos ache as he settled into his seat, preparing for the long flight ahead. “Ah, hell…” he sighed. “Eighty-eight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Rodimus once said that self-sacrifice is cheap. It's better to stay and make amends. Then Prime told him he should've walked away. And THEN he learned Ratchet lost faith in him. I wanted to see how I could tie those things together.


End file.
